zutroy.net

So there’s been a lot of talk about gas mileage and such lately. I have even done my own experiments to see what really makes a difference in my gas mileage.

Then I read about these Hyper-milers a few weeks ago. Turning off the car and coasting on the freeway, drafting behind big-rig trucks, altering your driving routes to avoid “low mileage zones” mostly just common sense things. Except for the drafting behind a huge hunk of metal with the car turned off, that one kinda screams out “Kill me now!”

So I decided that if some schmuck in Phoenix can get over 100MPG in his little car, I could probably get to 50 or 60 in my wonder-mobile. So I tried all of it except for turning off the car on the freeway. I drafted everywhere, I avoided every red light I could, I coasted every possible chance I had, I turned off the car at almost every stoplight. It seemed like it was going well too. Out of my 10 gallon tank I managed to squeeze about 360 miles. Official Mileage upon refill: 37.8 MPG

Hmmm I really expected it to be over 40 or 45. “Hmmm, maybe there’s something wrong with my car that’s really hurting the mileage.”

So I ran another test. Fuel conscious but normal driving, decent speed on the freeway without drafting, turn the car off in the drive-thous and predictable lights, getting into high gear as soon as possible without overdoing it. But then I threw in a high speed drive up the canyon because I was going to be late for a round of golf. Still with the bad fuel economy there, I managed to end up with an MPG of 35.7.

So yeah, I don’t see the big deal with these hyper-milers.

I remember when I was a kid that I wasn’t allowed to watch Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds. Supposedly it was “too scary”. That was fine with me, I never really liked scary movies anyway. So when I finally watched it a few years ago, I remember thinking “Hmmmm, what’s the big deal? That wasn’t scary”

So yesterday I went to practice my golf swing. And a little putting as well. So there I am on this huge practice putting green and I can hear the birds around. Didn’t exactly remind me of “The Birds”. It kinda reminded me of the picture perfect summer day. Nice almost cool breeze, birds chirping, nothing but me and the golf ball. Concentrate on form. Nice and easy. Good putt. I was getting into a pretty good rhythm and was sinking a few 14 footers. (that’s really good for me)

So there I am putting away. Just about to swing and I hear a bird chirp that seems unusually loud. And close. So I turn thinking “wow that bird needs to tone it down a little.” And there it was, flapping away about 2 feet from my head. “whoa,” I thought to myself “that bird didn’t even see me. Stupid bird!” So back to my putting. Concentrate, relax, don’t concentrate too hard, don’t relax THAT much. Good putt. Move on to the next hole. Good form… “WHAT THE CRAP?!?” The bird buzzed me again! I was pretty sure at this point that the bird was attracted to my bright new yellow golf shirt and just wanted to check it out.

“Alright, just ignore the bird. We’re here to practice golf. Concentrate, watch out for the bird, concentrate… Was that a shadow of a flying menace?! Just shake it off. Concentrate, swing.” K, at this point I realized that if you are worried about something hitting you in the head, it’s really hard to truly concentrate. So I decide to call it a day and go find that last ball that was only supposed to go a few feet and ended up WAY off the green. So I go put away the balls and start to put away the club when I notice the birds (Yes there is a whole team of them at this point) keeping an eye on this other guy practicing his chipping. And every few minutes, when he was facing exactly away from a bird, it would do this little dive bomb thing and chirp and fly away just inches from his head.

Now I was pissed. I wasn’t about to let Alfred’s birds ruin my day practicing. So I bend down to get the balls back out of my golf bag and “Squawk!!!” One snuck in from behind me. So I start thinking about the movie, Holy crap, there were only like 3 or 4 birds in this sortie. Imagine thousands like in the movie. Holy crap that’s scary!

I hate birds now.

The only time I have ever killed a deer was several years ago. I strongly believe in not making animals suffer but that they are here for us and it’s our right and sometimes our responsibility to harvest them. (Take that PETA!) So when I shot my first deer I was carefull to shoot for a sure kill and not maim him.

I was also hunting with another guy who was a little younger than I was. We had both taken quite a few shots at this deer and it kept dodging the bullets (NEO?) Finally it ran over the hill. So off we went, and there it was, just standing with it’s butt pointing straight at us. Neither of wanted to hit in in the hind quarters and ruin all the meat so we both drew a bead and waited for him to turn his head.

I was aiming at the juglar. He was aiming at the brain. Both good places to get a sure kill. And then he turned. Two shots rang out (even though I only heard one) and the deer spun around and fell right there. I knew one of us had a good hit. And no doubt about it, it hadn’t suffered. (except at being annoyed at having to dodge our first volley).

It was only about 20 paces off and by the time we got there, it had bled out completely. We had both hit our targets And the image of the hot pool of blood on the ground has stayed with me.

I don’t regret killing the deer. We split a lot of good meat. But I haven’t killed one since. Mostly because of how busy I am but partly becuase I don’t like the “taking a life” part of hunting. Right now, I’m doing ok with the supermarket.

This morning I was inconvenienced on the way to work by some slow traffic. Lots of cops, a fire truck or two, but no ambulance. I knew the accident had just happened and it looked serious. Then when I got close, I saw the motorcycle. And the semi truck. And a pool of blood. I knew that pool of blood. Humans don’t have much more blood than my deer did. It could only mean one thing. I knew why there was no ambulance. My heart sank. It’s been about 6 hours and I’ve just had my suspicions confirmed by KSL news. I know what instantly means. I’ve seen it before. I’m not sure exactly what this will change in my life yet but I have certainly spent a good deal of time thinking about it today.

To the family of the motocyclist, my sincerest regrets. If it can be of any comfort, know that he didn’t suffer. That doesn’t change the “taking a life part”. That’s hard enough to bare. I can’t imagine including the suffering along with the loss of life.